Member-only story
Choices Burger Palace: A Create-Your-Own Dining Experience Where the Choices Never End
By Debbie L. Miller
Friends! Let me tell you about this restaurant, Choices Burger Palace, where you create your own burger easily and exactly how you want it.
The beef is artisanal grain-fed, but if you’re willing to eat a cow fed antibiotics and genetically engineered grain treated with chemicals, no worries! Just fill out a form (“Eat at Your Own Risk”) and sign a disclaimer.
If you prefer cows raised entirely on grass or a mixture of grass, corn and grain, great! You can even choose the country of origin, like Argentina, Brazil, Australia, or Japan and if you want domestic, decide whether you prefer a cow raised in South Dakota, Missouri, or Texas.
Next, decide how you want your burger cooked: still mooing, medium, well, charred, burnt beyond recognition, or just some ashes on a plate. So many choices! They even ask how thick you want your burger and whether you want it shaped like a triangle, octagon, or trapezoid. (Unfortunately, they’re no longer offering ovals or pentagons.)
Do you want it char-grilled, broiled, steamed, smashed, or pan-fried? In a cast iron skillet, on a gas grill, or an open flame? You can even make your own fire and cook your burger yourself. For that, you…
