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POKER BUDDIES: A TEXAS HOLD’EM COMEDY SKETCH
by Debbie L. Miller
May 25, 2024
INT. DIVE BAR. NIGHT.
Nine children sit around a poker table playing with dolls as PARENTS watch.
V.O.
Looking for a new toy for your child? Something fun AND educational? Well, now there’s Poker Buddies! Great role models for your little ones!
(The camera shows several dolls dressed in hoodies, baseball caps, and sunglasses. The children wave their dolls and speak poker trash talk.)
CHILD AS TRASH TALKIN’ TOBY
I raise $500, you bum!
CHILD AS MANSPLAINING PROFESSOR
You’re bluffing! I call.
CHILD AS TRASH TALKIN’ TOBY
Re-raise, $1,000, loser! At least, I don’t have a gambling problem and a busted credit rating.
V.O.
Poker Buddies are fully functional action figures with realistic poker-appropriate clothing and accessories. Everything your kids need for a lived poker experience!
(An action VIDEO of the dolls plays.)
V.O. (CON’T)
Look at these accessories! A tiny poker table with real cup holders! Miniature glasses of whiskey and beer! Plates of greasy chili cheese fries and chicken wings!
(The Poker Buddies in the video sit, stand, face off, and fight.)
V.O. (CON’T)
Drunk Danny just spilled beer on the player to his right. I hope there’s not gonna be a fight!
DRUNK DANNY ACTION FIGURE
I’m not drunk! I lost ‘cuz you dealt me lousy cards!
(He throws his cards at the dealer)
DRUNK DANNY ACTION FIGURE (CON’T)
And, you guys cheat! Screw you!
(He throws his chips at the other players)
BAD BEAT BRIAN ACTION FIGURE
I’ve had some bad beats, lost some hands I shouldn’t have. Man, you shoulda seen the hand I had last night! Flopped a Jack-high flush and the next guy gets a royal flush. I cannot get a break!
