Show Biz: A Comic Monologue

Debbie Lynn Miller
3 min readJul 22, 2024

by Debbie L. Miller

Brigette, 12, is sitting on bleachers in a school gymnasium during a break in “Tweens” acting class.

I did NOT want to come here, but my mom made me. She thinks I ought to be in show business she has illusions of being a stage mom. I think they call that the Gypsie Rose Lee syndrome. Also, she failed as a soccer mom, so I guess this is the next best thing.

So, I’m here against my will. I do not want to be an actor. That’s for self-absorbed losers and insecure weanies.

This is the second day of “Acting Camp Week.” I don’t have to tell you there are some kids who, let’s face it, need psychotherapy, but who am I to judge? There’s this one kid, Brandon. Talks all the time. Yesterday, when we brokeinto small groups to do some stupid sharing activity, Leslie Beautrix told him to shut up. I swear, he looked like he was gonna cry. That was mean. Brandon isn’t bad; he’s just nervous. His parents are getting a divorce.

My best friend, Amanda, was supposed to be here, but she got sick. I was bummed at first. I don’t like to do new things alone. Safety in numbers, you know? But, I need to push myself. My mom says I don’t take enough initiative and that I need to try harder to come out of my shell.

Amanda’s dad is a surgeon and her mom’s a lawyer so she’s under a lot of pressure to be a high achiever. A lot of stress for a 12 year old, if you ask me. This summer, they’ve got her signed up for tennis lessons, ballroom dancing…

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Debbie Lynn Miller
Debbie Lynn Miller

Written by Debbie Lynn Miller

Brooklyn satire writer Debbie L. Miller is published in The Belladonna Comedy, Frazzled, The Haven, The StopGap, Greener Pastures, and The Syndrome Magazine.

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