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Veteran “Hacks” Comic Deborah Vance Skewers Her Namesake JD Vance in Late Night Monologue
By Debbie L. Miller
Thank you! Ah, politics. I’d rather have my gums scraped than talk politics, but tonight I’m making an exception.
You know, a lot of people think JD Vance and I are related because we have the same last name. Now, I don’t recall sleeping with a Kentucky backwoodsman 40 years ago, but I am old enough to be JD’s mother and I have had sex with a lot of men, so who knows? Hey, a girl gets lonely on the road.
People also assume I’m politically conservative like JD. Sure, I’m to the right of middle-of-the-road and I don’t always get what my assistant Ava is talking about when she says my outdated routines are ableist or racist but compared to JD Vance, I’m a friggin’ Bernie Sanders-worshipping, bleeding-heart liberal, PC snowflake socialist.
JD’s friends with a far-right fringe conspiracy theorist who believes some pretty wacky stuff, like Covid is caused by snake venom, the government puts LSD in our water supply, and vaccines lead to Satan worship. JD thinks aliens control Kamala Harris’s brain and that immigrant zombies are selling barbequed dog and cat burritos at Ohio street fairs.
He’s a politician, no question about it. He changes his opinions as often as I…
