Member-only story
ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE CLEANING SERVICE: A COMEDY SKETCH
by Debbie L. Miller
05/25/2024
INT. TYPICAL SUBURBAN HOME
A family — MOM, DAD, SON, and DAUGHTER — in a very messy house. They look sad. The family dog runs around barking.
Voiceover
This ever happened to you? You’ve got company coming and the house is a mess.
MOM
What are we going to do? Our dinner guests will be here in less than an hour!
Voiceover
No worries! Are you looking for a cleaning service that will descend on your house and render it spotless? Why not consider hiring the Undead?
ZOMBIE #1
I was looking for work. I mean, there’s more to life than pillaging and eating brains. Then, a friend told me about Zombie Apocalypse Cleaning Service. They took one look at me and hired me on the spot!
Voiceover
When you call Zombie Apocalypse Cleaning Service, our hard-working professionals will be there whenever you need them — day or night. And, they have a strong sense of teamwork.
[A hoard of ZOMBIES holding mops and buckets chant “Clean, Clean, Clean!”]
MOM
I was looking for a cleaning service that wouldn’t break the bank and then I found Zombie Apocalypse.
(on phone) Help! My house is out of control!
[A hoard of growling and salivating ZOMBIES, buckets and mops in hand, bust down the door and shamble in. Others, carrying spray bottles and rags, smash a window and climb inside. They moan and make garbled sounds. The family dog barks and the family starts to run away.]
Voiceover
Don’t go! They’re here to help!
[The family welcomes the Zombies. Two ZOMBIES carry in a replacement window and install it as two other ZOMBIES repair the door.]
Voiceover
See what I mean? Our guys work fast! And, they’ll clean up whatever mess you’ve got lying about — spilled food, sick animals, annoying relatives. You name it, our hoards will get rid of it!
